So I had kind of a
defining moment last week. We went to go teach an investigator and we
found her in the street outside her house, grinding marijuana for her
dad. He took the container of weed, took a nice long sniff and shoved it
towards my face and said, "you guys don't take this do you?" I
immediately backed away and said no. He said that was a shame and went
on to roll it, lite it, took the first drag, and then handed it to his
15 year old daughter who followed his example and smoked it as well. It
broke my heart. I told them that the weed was controlling them, but that
Christ could free them if they would let him. I asked them if they
wanted to stop smoking and the dad initially said no, but then thought
twice and said, "well if I could start my life over again I wouldn't do
it, but I'm 50 years into this now and I don't want to stop." I told him
that if he really has the desire, he can start over. That he can start
over and this time, in Christ. He refused and we walked away with my
heart still beating--feeling a little short of resources as far as how
to help him.
I don't think I would have stood
up like that at the beginning of my mission. So even though I felt bad
about him not wanting help, I felt happy because of the progress I saw
in myself.
Still trying to stay focused and
motivated every single day. Sometimes it's hard to be in one sector for
such a long time, but that just means I need to pray harder and search
deeper, passed the failed attempts of the past and try to see these
familiar streets as untouched possibilities and open doors. But I also
love being here for such a long time because I get to see the progress
from start to finish, like I mentioned with Jaime the other week.
Contact, lessons, baptism, confirmation, and then the temple. And that
has been SO cool to see.
Also have been
learning huge lessons about charity. Trying to wash my window instead of
viewing the world as the dirty thing. Trying to be like Christ. Trying
to learn more. Pray more. Trust more. Believe more. Everything more
haha.
It's crazy the difference in my life
when I really pray verses just chatting. Or reciting. For me I've seen
that sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom to bring me to my knees in
such a way where there is nobody else in my world... just me and God.
Even though its kind of painful--falling from such a high place to rock
bottom (aka realizing I suck and developing humility haha) those
experiences are some of the most sacred and special times I've had on my
mission. It's exilarating and touching to see other people make
covenants and change lives, but there's nothing like realizing the
necessity of my own salvation. And the sensation of being rescued. Even
if I have to learn it on my knees on the bathroom floor of our
apartment.
So my prayer is that God can use my
lame-ness in such a way that these people really can get the help that
they need. I know He will. It's his specialty. Making miracles out of
the weak and dismal.
I'm down for that. :)
Love you all more than gluten-free anything.
All my love,
Hermana Cannon II
Last
picture with President and Hna. Wright! Our new President will be
coming in the next couple of weeks (President Marty Morgan. Hear he's
awesome too!)
The best district you have ever seen.
These "American" chips came with ketchup. Who do they think we are?
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